


a series of small, mostly heterosexual stories

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, Ficlets, Fluff, i probably wrote these at one am, more tags to be added later, prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 09:46:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9485603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A collection of ficlets from prompts I've received. Mostly Hamliza.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "I think I've been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again." 
> 
> Ship: Hamliza
> 
> (Some of Alexander's dialogue in this is taken from actual letter he wrote to Eliza !! )

It had been years since Alexander and Eliza had truly spoken. Alex was happily married to Angelica--as far as Eliza knew. It hurt her to see them hand in hand at family events. She just had to accept that, even if her heart endlessly yearned for him.

That being said, she definitely wasn't expecting to be in her current situation. She and Alex were left alone in the dining room at her father's mansion, cleaning up after a large family dinner. They were celebrating Angelica and Alexander's anniversary, of course. Angelica had retired upstairs, ready to sleep after a long day. The two had stood in long silence before Alexander, ever the speaker, broke it.

“I've missed you.”

The three words pierced through Eliza’s heart. Alexander Hamilton, who she dated for just over a year before her own sister won him over… _missed_ her? Over the past five years, the most they've done is make awkward small talk at the dinner table. Eliza pondered his statement for a moment, holding a few plates still in her hands.

“Have you really?” Eliza inquired, and Alex replied with that stupid grin of his. The one that would make nearly anyone swoon. He grabbed the plates from Eliza's grasp, setting down on the table.

“Eliza, I really have. I swear. Every time I look at you, my gaze lingers a moment too long. You engross my thoughts too entirely to allow me to think of anything else—you not only employ my mind all day; but you intrude upon my sleep. I meet you in every dream—and when I wake, I cannot close my eyes again, for I am ruminating on your sweetness. I may be a married man, my dearest Eliza; but I cannot deny my strong affections for you. Angelica may be astounding in every aspect, but you; Betsey-- you are stunning. I cannot compare your beauty, inside and out, to that of anyone else.”

Eliza was taken aback by Alexander's sudden declarations. Surely this had to be a setup--some sort of cruel joke, possibly. Despite that, Alexander held Eliza's hands in his, staring at her with those striking eyes. The same ones she had fallen for years ago. Eliza felt a lump in her throat. Surely no one could ever love her like that. Angelica had already proven that she was a better companion.

Noticing Eliza's silence, Alexander continued to ramble. “I remember our experiences together fondly. I remember how it felt to touch every part of you; to worship and bask in your beauty. I would do anything to get that back. I've been in denial for so long, but tonight was too much to handle. You looked simply amazing, and I thought I'd take advantage of our time alone to express how I feel. I think, my dear, that I've been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”

Eliza immediately pulled her hands away from Alexander's. Who gave him the right to declare such things, when they hadn't bonded in years? Was she just some fantasy girl Alexander wanted on the side? She glared at him in disgust, taking a few steps back.

“No. You love Angelica, not me. I don't know _what_ you want, Alexander, but it's not me. I mean nothing to you but a pretty face. Don't speak to me. I don't care.” With that final statement, Eliza whipped around and left the dining room, abandoning Alexander with his lost hopes for love.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A letter from Alex to Eliza.

_My Dearest Eliza,_

I love you.

I love the way you laugh; how your eyes crinkle in the corners and your smile gets wider than I ever thought it could.

I don't think I can explain how much I wish that I was the one who made you smile so wide. How much I wish I could spin you in my arms until you're reduced into a fit of giggles, leaning into me to keep yourself upright. I wish I could giggle along with you and kiss the top of your head, brushing the hairs out of your face so I could see you. I'd put my fingers under your chin and tilt your head up, letting your laughter subside as I kissed you, our smiling lips pressed together. I wish you would lay your head on my shoulder, and I would feel your soft breaths against my neck. I'd pick you up and carry you into bed, remembering to pepper your face with kisses as I did so. I'd pull the covers over both of us and kiss the tip of your nose, whispering how much I love you. I wish you'd say the same before drifting off to sleep in my arms.

When I’d wake up, I'd find that you've already left the bed, your scent of lavender and a hint of laundry detergent still embedded in the sheets. I'd take a moment to compose myself, wrapping a blanket around myself before shuffling out into the kitchen. You would be there at the table, a mug of hot tea in your hands—you always hated coffee. Next to you would be a mug of coffee for me, already mixed the way you know I like it. You’re always so considerate. I wish you would kiss me when I sat down next to you, pushing the mug into my hands. We'd talk about so many things. Family, friends, love, hate. We'd joke and tell each other stories, and you'd laugh. God, how I love your laugh. I don't think I can ever stop thinking about it.

I wish that years would pass by, and we'd spend every morning like that. One year with rings on our fingers; two years later with a high chair next to yours. I wish that after twenty years, our house would be plastered with pictures of babies, kids, teenagers… our family. I wish that even after so many years, you'd still love me as much as you did on that first night. I wish that I could still make you laugh so much that you'd nearly fall over.

I wish that we'd spend all these years in each other’s arms, even until our last days. I wish that we could be together, “for better or for worse”. I wish that even in the hardest times, we can help each other push through. I wish that our love could be strong enough to survive the toughest battles. 

I know that won't ever happen. I will never be worthy of your affections, no matter how hard I try. I'm not enough for you. There is nothing I can do about that. But I will lie awake at night, clutching my blankets in my hands and wishing they smelled like you. Wishing I could see you laugh every morning, and lay in bed with you every night. Wishing I could be enough.

_Wishing upon the highest stars,_

_Alexander_

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments !!!! they help me feel good abt myself !!! 
> 
> you can send me prompts or be my friend on my [tumblr](http://disillusion-al.tumblr.com)


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